Purpose Driven Life, Chapter 12:

Jesus, more than anything else, i want to know you intimately! This is true God! i also desperately want You to give me a passion for Your lost sheep! God, if i’m going to be involved with CR at all, You know i need more passion for others and not myself! God, i know that doing CR is a good thing! i prayed that You would make it clear to me, and i feel You have made it pretty clear in my heart, and these are the things that stand out to me: That anything that advances Your kingdom is a good thing! ; That if leaders are burned out (that’s me!) they should take a break. ; That our CR is not going away. ; That i need a passion for the people who have hurts habits and hang-ups… Lord, BREAK my heart for what breaks Yours!!! i mean that so desperately… i don’t want to be caught up in this ball of self-centeredness! i want to advance Your kingdom, not mine! You’ll take care of mine! Please, God, i beg You that You would help me to know You intimately… i know if that happens more and more, that my passion for others will have to grow!

Break my heart for what breaks Yours!

Whoever isolates himself seeks his own desire; he breaks out against all sound judgment.

A man’s spirit will endure sickness, but a crushed spirit who can bear?

The one who states his case first seems right, until the other comes and examines him.

A brother offended is more unyielding than a strong city, and quarreling is like the bars of a castle.

These are some truths from Proverbs 18 today. God, i pray again that You’ll help me to do the right thing regarding David and Shannon and Jayme. i also pray that You’ll use the Purpose Driven Life to again help me focus on what my purpose is in this life. i’m so confused sometimes and i really need Your direction. Thank You for giving me a good time with Mia last night. i pray that You’ll help me to be good husband/father/son-in-law today, and to fill that purpose! Thank You so much for our family! it is an amazing provision! i pray that You’ll help me to break out of this isolation that i’ve been in for a while. I love You!

Proverbs 17:22 A joyful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.

Phew… God, i don’t know what to do! all i know is that i need You… i need Your wisdom and your direction, and Your Holy Spirit. Lord, i pray that You’ll help me to respond to Jayme’s email both in action and word, the way that You would want me to… in humility and with wisdom.. and above reproach. Lord, You are doing some crazy things in our church, and i don’t know how i feel about it! i also don’t know where i sit with it. Please please please give me wisdom and give me rest for my soul. i don’t like the idea of Generations not being my church… i love this church. But i also want to be where You want to be! Lord if that’s here to be part of the solution, please give me peace and clarity toward that. Lord, i’m also trusting You to tell me which i guess will be an answer to the rest of that prayer, what i should do about CR. If You want me to be in charge and to run with it, give me the tools!!! i feel like in some ways, i’ve been left on my own, but i also know better. i know that i never could have made some of these decisions w/o You. i pray that You’ll just give me wisdom and help me to get back on track! Lord, i hate being far from You… i hate losing You, and i hate being stuck with my own thoughts. i’m so helpless w/o You it’s not even funny! i just pray that You’ll WASH over me in the next couple weeks. Give me peace, wisdom, and clarity for my future! i know You can and i know You will! i love You so much!!! Please help me to be a good daddy for Mia tonight. i love You!