1 Timothy 4
1 Now the Spirit expressly says that in later times some will depart from the faith by devoting themselves to deceitful spirits and teachings of demons,
2 through the insincerity of liars whose consciences are seared,
3 who forbid marriage and require abstinence from foods that God created to be received with thanksgiving by those who believe and know the truth.
4 For everything created by God is good, and nothing is to be rejected if it is received with thanksgiving,
5 for it is made holy by the word of God and prayer.

11 Command and teach these things.
12 Let no one despise you for your youth, but set the believers an example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity.
13 Until I come, devote yourself to the public reading of Scripture, to exhortation, to teaching.
14 Do not neglect the gift you have, which was given you by prophecy when the council of elders laid their hands on you.
15 Practice these things, immerse yourself in them, so that all may see your progress.
16 Keep a close watch on yourself and on the teaching. Persist in this, for by so doing you will save both yourself and your hearers.

Wow God. Thank You for showing me all these things. There’s so much to learn that i don’t know how to digest it all! The thing that’s on my mind today is Keith & his honesty. Lord, i don’t know but i feel the most important thing to build between us is a trust bond. Lord, i pray that You would cause him to be completely honest with me, and that You would show me. i pray that He would give me the doctor’s number, and tell me to call him. Lord… i just do not want to move on in my relationship with Keith without absolute trust both ways. Lord only You can make it happen. Lord, i pray for his soul, and i pray for his spirit. Go in like a flood and cast out all the demons, whether literal or figurative. Lord, You are in control. i pray that Keith would NOT depart from the faith, and NOT devote himself to deceitful spirits. Lord, please equip and empower me to do this job! Thank You for all that You are helping me to do, and i pray that i’ll be a great leader! Lord, i love You soooo much! i trust You to do the right thing for Your glory, even if it means doing a terrible job. i love YOU and i pray that i can bring You glory by excelling in what i do. i love You.

1 Timothy 4

Dear God…. please help me to accomplish all that i need to today… help me to be proactive and to not be stressed. i pray that You’ll help me to start preparing for teaching next week, and i pray that You’ll help me to build great teams! Thank You so much for the volunteers who have stepped up. i pray that we do the right thing by them. Please bless CR, and help us to do the right thing there. Lord, i’m definitely intimidated. i love You. Please.. live through me today… i don’t want to do a thing that You’re not in. Lord, i’m trusting You to hold me up! i love You!

1 Timothy 1&2

Lord, i am in desperate need of You… My world seems to be slowly inching on me closer and closer. So many things have to be done, and so many people are hurting. i pray that You’ll help me work through it the correct way. Help me, oh please help me, to set healthy boundaries. i know i can’t sustain what i’ve been doing this week, and last. Lord, thank You for answering our prayers with bringing Keith back, and please give us wisdom with how to handle the situation. Lord, You direct our path like watercourses. Please get all over Keith. He’s got some amazing gifts, and we would all love to see them in action again in the future. i pray you’ll bring healing to him and to his family. i pray that You’ll give me wisdom with him and help me to be loving. Right now the situation seems absolutely hopeless, and impossible. But i know it doesn’t have to be that way. Lord, i pray that You’ll use me today. Work through me, and use me in ways that are clear that You are my God, and that You are empowering me. Lord, i want to be like Daniel, and Meshack, Shadrack and Abednego. i want to be like Joseph. i don’t want to be afraid to say the truth in the midst of fear. i’m still not sure i know what the truth is all the time, especially with Keith. Please give me wisdom Lord…. There are so many times in the Bible where You tell us to ask for it. Lord, i am asking for it! i love You so much! i can’t do this w/o You. Please stay close to me and let me feel You presence. Hold my hand. i love You!

1 Timothy 1

9 Cling to your faith in Christ, and keep your conscience clear. For some people have deliberately violated their consciences; as a result, their faith has been shipwrecked.

Wow God… so much has happened in so little time. Lord, thank You for allowing me to be the CR Ministry Leader. i pray that You’ll help me to do a great job, and that people will look forward to Friday Nights! i pray that You can use me to make the FRiday night experience better allong with everything we do!

Thank You for the chance to go to WordCamp Raleigh…. it really helped for me to be able to get away at such a crazy time. Thank You for the things i learned there, and the the people i was able to meet! i pray that You’ll help me to apply this knowledge. God, You are so amazing and i love You so much.

Lord, then there’s the fact that Keith’s back…. Thank You so much that he is! His family really wanted him and needed him, but God i’m worried about them, and about them needing him too much. Lord, i pray that they will have learned a valuable lesson through this, and that You will be there for them to hold on to instead of Keith. Lord, there are so many volatile situations here. i also pray for Dave and Rich who are wrapped up in this issue. i pray that You’ll give Dave mercy and patience. i pray You’ll help Rich to do the right thing, and to not need Keith so much! Lord, i love You and i know that You ARE in charge! i love You so much.

James 1 and Psalm 63

Wow Lord… Thank You so much for being in control of this madness! Thank You that You are fortifying me. Thank You that You are holding up Your promise that You will not give us more than we can bear. Thank You for the encouragement of Psalm 63 and for the somber reminders in James 1. i pray that You will help me to do You will today! Please bless me for the doing the right thing, but first of all please cause me and help me to do the right thing! My only desire is to please You.. Whatever that takes! Lord, it scares me, but do whatever it takes for me to be able to bring You glory in my life! i love You and need You oooooh so much! and i know that the Winstead family need You so badly right now. Please bring peace and wisdom to them, and ultimately an unnatural belief that You are in control of all of this, and have a purpose! i love You! i also pray for Keith…. i can’t even begin to process what he is thinking… i just pray that the Holy Spirit would bang down his door… That he would have his road to damascus moment when there is no more denying You. Lord, i know You are capable. i love You!

Matt 7

7 “Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you.
8 For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened.
9 Or which one of you, if his son asks him for bread, will give him a stone?
10 Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a serpent?
11 If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him!

Lord… wow!!!! This whole thing with Keith is insane… why? Why couldn’t You have just provide for him and his needs! He knocked and asked for years! He was trying to do the right thing! Lord, while i have these questions… i still have my shield of faith that just says… he shoulda waited… how do we know it wouldn’t have been just a couple more weeks before all the finance problems would be taken care of… We don’t. Lord, You are big and in charge and You have a plan even if we don’t know it or believe it’s a good one. Lord, i love You sooooooo much! i reeeeeealllly need You now if i’m supposed to run CR. i know i can do it with You and a strong support team! Lord, i love You!!! Fortify me in this time… shine through me so it’s undeniable that it’s You. i don’t want people to talk about me…. i want them to talk about You! Lord, help me to say Friday what You want me to say.. i have a feeling You want me to talk about the prostitute and Jesus telling the Pharisees to throw the first stone… i pray that You’ll give me courage and strength! i love You!

Matthew 6

1 “Beware of practicing your righteousness before other people in order to be seen by them, for then you will have no reward from your Father who is in heaven.
2 “Thus, when you give to the needy, sound no trumpet before you, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets, that they may be praised by others. Truly, I say to you, they have received their reward.
3 But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing,
4 so that your giving may be in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will reward you.

God, i don’t know why but here i am struggling to journal again. Lord, i want to see and feel and hear You when i journal. i think it’s hard sometimes to just have faith that going through the motions, i can still connect with You… Probably because sometimes it’s hard to. Lord, i pray that You’ll help me to do it anyway! i don’t know what the deal is but i just can’t keep up with it sometimes. Thank You for reminding me to do it today. i pray that i’ll be a good steward of my time and other resources for You! Better yet, help me be a tool in Your hands just to do whatever You desire! i love You and i hope that even if i don’t really mean that, which i think i do, but i pray that You’ll help me to really truly want that inside. i love You!

Matt. 1

Lord, i’m trying to read the parts of the Bible about Your life, because like Keith said, i want to learn how to do life like You did it! Help me to do that, and i pray that You will honor that motivation and help me to learn and get out of it what You would have me to get out of it everyday! i pray for Your Holy Spirit to come and rest on me like it did with Jesus. i know that You say He is here right now, so i pray that i would at least become more aware of it! Please help me to have an effective day and to get a lot done, so i can move on to the church website! i love You!

Genesis 5-8
Lord, thank You for the beautiful day and the non-buggy morning where i could sit outside. Thank You for all that You have done for me and for giving me this web dev work. It is so fun! Lord, i don’t know what the deal is, but i’ve been having weird sensations like not being able to focus on what i’m looking at, even as i type. And last night, i started to get fuzzy and lose feeling in my fingertips and and spotty blurred vision. Lord, i pray that You’ll heal me of this so that i can keep working! Lord, i love You so much! i pray that i’ll do what You would have me to do today and that i would be your servant, even if it’s just to work on websites. i love You!

Genesis 3-5

Lord, thank You for the talk with Mitch yesterday.. i pray that You’ll work with him on his issues…. Lord, i don’t know what it will take, but i want to see him come out on the other side desperately! Lord, i pray that You’ll help me to say the right things, and not to try and fix him. Lord, i pray that You will fix him and make him a gleeming example of someone who has been miraculously touched by You. i pray that he becomes a major standout to his family and to the Latino community. Lord, i love You and thank You for what You are doing in my life. i pray You’ll give me wisdom to do what i should, and that You’ll help me stay on task. Help the leaders’ training to go well Saturday. Lord, thank You so much for the rainy day yesterday. It was so refreshing. i love You!