God, i don’t know why… but right now i’m having problems studying for Friday! i need inspiration from You Lord! i pray You’ll give me some nuggets that i need. i pray that i’ll listen to You. Lord, i thank You so much for giving me the peace and the confidence to do the welcome/announcements on Sunday. It felt so right! But why is it so hard to feel that way while preparing? why do i have to be so nervous? And why do i have to sit in my room all day and come up with nothing? Lord, i pray that You will come in and annoint me and my words and my thoughts. i pray that it would be so amazing that it would be clear that it is You. Lord, one thing that bugs me about CR is that it’s hard to feel passionate… it’s hard to feel annointed. i don’t know why. Please help me to get over that. Lord, i pray that You would helps us to run CR and do CR in a way that will help us to reach all the hurting people in BrunsCo. i know You can do it. i know You are in charge of this ministry. Lord, i feel so small sometimes… so impotent. Lord… i know that’s a good thing, cuz sometimes, it makes me lean on You like i am trying to do now, but it’s crippling! i pray that You would annoint me for the this ministry! Help me to be your servant here.. used in powerful ways. Lord, i want to be like Daniel and Joseph and Meshach, Shadrach and Abednego! i want to be used by You to influence others to serve You. i want to be what i see in Perry Noble… where there is no shame to speak the Gospel of Christ! i want to be passionate and filled up with Your truth so that it spills out in everything i do… and not just my opinion on it, but actually YOUR words! Lord, i trust that You will make this Friday go well. i trust that You will work with me and help me to write this down so i can start memorizing. i trust that You will help me to memorize it, because it’s so much a part of who i am!

But Lord, enough about me. i pray that You would work on Mitch in ways that are beyond believable… i pray that You absolutely cure him from his issue with sexual addiction. i pray that he would come out the other side with the kind of passion that he’s claiming right now. i pray that You will absolutely light a fire under his butt, so he cannot sit down or be lazy… that he would have no choice but to keep moving and acting! Lord, i thank You for what You have done in the past couple days, and i pray that it would not be for nought… i pray that You’ll give me the strength to do the right thing, no matter the circumstance… i pray that for me in all of my dealings.. Lord, You are absolutely sovereign and i trust You!

Oh God… i am really overwhelmed right now! Lord, i pray You’ll help me to get what i need to get done. i pray You’ll give me wisdom with how to handle the different situations with everyone. Help me to do Your will in my life. i’m really concerned about Mitch right now.. i know i can’t fix him, but i also am very uncomfortable with him living with us if he doesn’t change. i know that sin always escalates. Lord, i’m just confused about what to do with him. i pray You’ll give me peace in knowing what the right thing to do will be. And please give me wisdom! i’m very tired! so yah, i definitely need your help today to not do anything stupid and to not get super stressed. Lord, i love You so much!

Acts 18

Lord, thank You for a great relaxing weekend. i pray You’ll help me with all the details and everything associated with moving the server to a new provider. i also pray You’ll help me to develop a nice ad for the newspaper. Lord, i trust that You will work through me and bless my work like You did for those working on the temple. Lord, is it too much to ask that my ad would be so compelling that it would draw people to GC even more… and not just to GC, but to YOU! Lord, i want to get back to working for You! i need focus and vision to know what it is i’m supposed to be doing for You because i really want to be working for You, not man or GC. i’ve only been on the job a few weeks, but i already am jaded to working for the staff… i pray that You’ll help me to be wise, and a rock in the staff… not someone who is driven about with every wind of change. i pray that You’ll help me to be the change i want to see. Thank You for all of the wonderful staff and volunteers who do so much. Lord, i pray You’ll help me to also stay focused!!! i have to be able to switch my focus from one thing to the other… namely from my design work to church work. Lord, i’m having a hard time believing that You are in either one! Lord, i pray that if this isn’t what You want for me, that You would make it absolutely clear. Please give me wisdom and direction. Please help me to understand how to be a good leader. Help me to appreciate and thank my help! Lord, i also pray for our place in MN… i pray You’ll help us to rent it, and that You’ll help us to sell it. Lord, i don’t know what to do about that, and neither does Meagan. i pray that You’ll be wisdom for us there. Lord, i pray that You will be a light to my feet and a lamp to my path. i pray that direct my every step today. help me to be aware of You. right now i’m just groggy, and having a hard time being relaxed. Help me! i love You!

Proverbs 16
1 The plans of the heart belong to man, but the answer of the tongue is from the LORD.
2 All the ways of a man are pure in his own eyes, but the LORD weighs the spirit.
3 Commit your work to the LORD, and your plans will be established.

When a man’s ways please the LORD, he makes even his enemies to be at peace with him.

It is better to be of a lowly spirit with the poor than to divide the spoil with the proud.

Whoever is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit than he who takes a city.

God, thank You for the Proverbs! Lord, please forgive me for being prideful! i feel it sneak in at times, and it scares me, because i know it could get under my skin and start oozing out for everyone to smell! Lord, thank You for these verses in Proverbs that help me understand principles that You have set in place. Lord, i am committing my work to You! Lord, i only want to serve You and bring more glory to You, and for the nations to point and say look at that, who is Your God? Lord, i want to be able to look back and say my God is! Lord, i love You so much and thank You for sustaining me! Lord, i get so overwhelmed sometimes as i try to do so many things. Lord, i pray that You would help me develop a better system so that i don’t fret. Lord, You are the maker of Heaven & earth. It all belongs to You. Lord, i can make my plans, but You control where the dice land. Lord,i all my plans are right in my own eyes, but i pray that You will hold me accountable to THE TRUTH, Your truth. Your Word! Lord, i you say when a man’s way please the Lord, he makes even his enemies at peace with him.. Lord, i pray that my ways would please You and that even my enemies would be at peace with me. Please help me to do the right thing by Guy and Brandy. Lord, i don’t want to be prideful…. and You said all my ways are pure in my own eyes… Lord, i don’t want that. i want to see what the truth is. Lord, i want to be Your servant. Lord, i pray for Robbie… i don’t know what his deal is, but i pray that You would work with him. i pray that he would see these verses, and see the truth in them. i pray that he would seek after You, and not just money or fame or position or pride. i pray for Troy… Lord, i know he feels right in his own eyes, but i pray You would hold him accountable to the calling he has, and to Your truth. i pray that he would see the gravity in his leadership, and that You would bless him. Thank You for his faithful service, even when it’s hard. i pray for Keith… wow.. only You know how to untangle that web. Lord, i pray that You would use me in that situation in whatever capacity You would. i want to be a catalyst for change, not an enabler. i want to use Your words of truth, and not my own. Lord, i know He cannot argue with Your Word successfully. Lord, i love You sooooo much! i love You. i pray that You’ll help Mia to get saved and that she’ll desire to serve You. Lord, i pray for Meagan… thank You for her beauty and for her virtues! i pray that You would give her and i a peace about her doing the CR music or not, and that we would be happy about our decision. Lord, i pray that You’ll help me to support her in it either way. i pray that You would help us to get our townhome rented. It is so difficult when we can’t get it rented! Lord, i love You and thank You for all that You have done in and with us. i pray that i would do Your will today as it is in Heaven, and that i would be Your vessel, Your servant, Your clay. i want to be used by You!

• 2 Timothy 1:6-7
• For this reason I remind you to fan into flame the gift of God, which is in you through the laying on of my hands, 7 for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.
• God, i don’t know why, but i feel my heart-rate increasing, and i feel the apprehension coming on! Lord, i pray that You’ll help me to chill out, and to remember that You have not given me this spirit of fear… That it is absolutely 100% not You. Lord, i pray that You will banish it from my heart and mind as i remember Your words, that You have given me power and love and self-control. i pray You’ll help me! i’m getting desperate! Why is it sometimes that all i can do is fear!? Lord, i am asking You, PLEASE take it away!

7 Habits, Proverbs

19 When words are many, transgression is not lacking, but whoever restrains his lips is prudent.
20 The tongue of the righteous is choice silver; the heart of the wicked is of little worth.

The righteous will never be removed, but the wicked will not dwell in the land.

Lord, i’m doing a lot of reading right now, at least a lot to me. Please help me to retain what i’m learning. Help me remember what i learned in the Proverb about having prudent lips. Thank You for teaching me, and helping me to do that this week. Lord, i pray for the situation between Keith and Troy… i pray that You would help them to patch things up. Lord, i pray that You’ll keep Keith from using bi-polar as a crutch. i pray that You’ll give Troy and the Winsteads wisdom. Lord, i pray that You would help Troy remember the mantle that You have laid on Him. That he is the pastor, and that is a high calling. Lord, i love You. i pray that You’ll be with us tonight in CR in incredible ways. i pray that You’ll really bless the music, and Sharon’s testimony. Lord, i pray for Jenny and i’s meeting with Robbie today. i pray that You would be manifested there. i pray that we would each remember that we exist for Your glory. i pray that You’ll help me to be the spiritual leader that i need to be. i pray that Robbie would grab the mantle, and decide to be the spiritual leader that You are calling him to be. Please help us to be gentle and use wisdom with how we handle it. i love You so much! i pray that i won’t speak a word today that Your Holy Spirit doesn’t cover. i pray that You’ll guide and direct me the way You would a yielded vessel. Lord, i am yielded! i love You, and trust You for my words and actions today!

7 Habits of Highly Effective People
“Values are maps. When we value correct principles, we have truth – knowledge of things as they are.”
“Correct maps will infinitely impact our personal and interpersonal effectiveness far more than any amount of effort expended on changing our attitudes and behaviors.”

Wow… God, i pray that You will continue to help me value correct principles! i pray that in this whole situation with Keith, that You would put Your hand on it, and help it to heal! Lord, i don’t know how, but i know You have a plan for this! i pray that You’ll help Keith to swallow his stinking pride, and Troy too! They both are acting so self-righteous, and like they refuse to understand the other’s position. i pray that You’ll help Keith get over some of the barriers that are keeping him from moving, from changing. i pray that You’ll give Keith the wisdom he needs. i pray You’ll give me wisdom, Lord! Not just in this situation, but in every situation! i’m in over my head if You leave me! i don’t want to screw this up, because i’m foolish! Lord, i love You! Thank You for the amazing peace that has swept over me since last Friday morning when i spoke to You. It is amazing what You have done! i don’t thank You enough, and i wish i wasn’t quite so droopy, so i could thank You more and better, though it would never be enough! i pray You’ll bring that same peace to everyone who needs it in this situation! i pray that You’ll protect our church from a split! Lord, i don’t know why this is going crazy like this, but i’m believing and i’m praying right now that this is because You’re getting ready to pour out Your blessings on our church! i pray that we would fly out of this, able to give and serve and bless the community around us… For the last year, i think we have turned that the other way around! Lord, i love You! Be with me today! i commit all my words and actions to Your care and control. Lord, i don’t want anything to come out of my mouth that is not covered by Your Holy Spirit and Your truth and Your wisdom! i love You!

7 Habits

Wow God… for one… what is wrong with me? Why can’t i keep up with journaling… and not necessarily journaling, but communicating with You! Lord, i’m detached! and whenever i become detached, i get filled with fear and anxiety. Lord, i pray You’ll help me to stay attached! i pray You’ll help me to get control of my schedule, and commit the first parts of my day to You! for some reason now, i’m putting all of this pressure on myself to do and be all these things… it might be because that’s the paradigm i’ve been taught by Keith, and Bro. Whittle, and others. Lord, i pray You’ll give Bro. Whittle a hug for me! i do love him. But God.. i just keep thinking about how much easier it would be to die and go meet You! The thing i’ve been living for which apparently was to get to ministry…. has now been given to me… And i just feel like it’s a cruel reality, this world! Now i know Troy’s messed up, and the person who encourages me, Keith, is in need of encouragement. i pray for Keith God… what he’s going through has got to be worse than what i’m going through! i pray that You’ll bring him peace today… not a kind of peace that comes from medication, but the kind of peace that he knows it can only come from You! i pray You would help him to see You and know You in ways that he never has. Please give him a manifestation of your love that is extra special, since he is dealing with extraordinary pain. i pray that You would show him the TRUTH! the big heavy thing called truth that not only would crush him, but relieve him also! i pray that for all of us in this time of conjecture and bickering. i can’t help but worry about how this whole thing is going to shape up, and worrying about people leaving the church and worrying worrying worrying! Why is it sooooo hard to remember that You are in control? Why can’t i just remember all the incredible things You have done in my life? Why can’t i remember the things that i can’t understand why Keith and Troy can’t remember? Lord, i’m messed up.. and i’m glad! Cuz that means i always have to come back to You and do this… i love doing this! You are so amazing… It is amazing what You have done in my life… It is amazing what You have done in our church, and in our CR. i was going to pray for growth… Lord, growth is in your hands. i pray that we would be a vessel in this area for You to use. Please keep us a clean vessel used for healing. i know that other vessels are necessary, and that You use pain to teach us, but i pray that we would be humble and learn from Your Word, and Your Holy Spirit, instead by splitting up the church, or causing people to leave angry. Lord, i’ve asked everyone what to do about this Guy situation but You! Lord, i pray You’ll show me what to do. i pray You’ll give me humility and wisdom to do the right thing. On my own, i keep on screwing it up. In my efforts to get help, i think i’ve done a lot of gossiping and slandering. Even if i didn’t think i was, i was speaking from my paradigm, which is missing soooo much truth. Lord, i pray that You would be a salve over the damage i may have or be causing! i pray that Your Holy Spirit would cover my folly and teach truth where i introduced falseness… Lord, i pray You’ll give me the motive and desire to do the right thing! Lord, You know my heart! You KNOW i want to teach tonight and i want to reach people’s hearts, and i want to be honest and open. You know that deep down, i want to be used by You to bring others to You, because YOU made me that way. You put that desire in my heart. i am so thankful for You doing that with me, and i beg that You’ll bring it back! i beg You to make my passion known tonight! i don’t care if it’s not the best speech i’ve given or the most compelling presentation! i want You in it! i want You to be all over it! Lord, You said,

2 Chronicles 7
“When I shut up the heavens so that there is no rain, or command locusts to devour the land or send a plague among my people, 14 if my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land. 15 Now my eyes will be open and my ears attentive to the prayers offered in this place.”

Wow! Lord, that is where we are at! We have no rain, and we have locusts devouring our land, and plagues among our people! Lord, i am called by Your name…. YOU CALLED ME BY YOUR NAME! i am trying to humble myself and pray and to seek Your face and i desperately am trying to turn from my wicked ways.

Psalm 139
23 Search me, O God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.

24 See if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting.

Lord if there be any wicked way in me, please lead me in the way everlasting. Lord, you know my anxious thoughts. i want to hand them over to You! Lord, i love You. Thank You for allowing me the access to You where i can rant at any time. Lord, i pray You’ll help me to take advantage of that option all the time… WITHOUT CEASING. i love You. Lord, i give myself to You today! i completely surrender my life and will to You today. i surrender tonight to You to do what You want to do in CR, and in each person’s life. All i have to do is the stuff You put in front of me, and the rest is up to You! Help me!!!!!! Help me remember this! i love You!